


vanilla boy ruins everything, more at six

by notjodieyet



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Other, Thoschei, academy!era, academy!thoschei, angsty yearning, i FINALLY get to tag something that, it's theta, just for clem, tardis lounge discord, yet again one of them isn't here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:30:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23007949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjodieyet/pseuds/notjodieyet
Summary: koschei, yearning
Relationships: The Doctor | Theta Sigma/The Master | Koschei (Doctor Who: Academy Era)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	vanilla boy ruins everything, more at six

_We’re fools_ , thought Koschei, staring out at an endless ocean of stars, the night soft and dark. How long would it be before somebody came outside and sent him back to his room? He couldn’t stand looking into Theta’s eyes, the clear blue of promises neither of them could keep. 

The fabric of his uniform was suffocatingly thick. It was Theta’s, and it was too long for Koschei, and it smelled like vanilla because Theta smelled like vanilla, and Koschei couldn’t breathe. 

_“We can run away.”_

_We can’t_ , Koschei thought, and in his mind, he named the constellations branching above his head with their real names instead of the ones Theta made up when they were hopeful children. 

_“Don’t you want to run away?”_

He wanted to.

He wanted to so badly it blanketed him like his ill-fitting robes. He wanted it like water in the desert, a mirage shimmering over the next dune. Just a mirage. Just a dream of kids drunk on each other’s mouths and telling each other things that would never make themselves true. 

_“We don’t need them. We don’t need any of them.”_

Theta had been so frantic, as if something was going to come swallow both of them whole if they didn’t escape the orange grasses of Gallifrey. 

What if there was a timeline where Koschei had said yes? 

What if there was a timeline where they escaped, hand in hand, stole a time machine and went rogue? What if there was a timeline where they lived lives after lives together, waking up together for a million dawns, tangled in each other’s arms?

What if there was a timeline where Koschei had simply kissed him and said words that he’d been waiting so long to say? 

What if there was a timeline where Koschei didn’t pull away from Theta’s embrace and mumble a quick, pointless excuse, to go stare at the stars and yearn for things that could never occur?

Koschei had finally gotten the thing he had always wanted to, melting into Theta and kissing him until their lips were sore, and then Theta had to go and ruin everything. Why couldn’t he understand that not everybody could make a split-second choice about the rest of their life? 

Koschei should never have let himself fall for his own _roommate_ — it was never going to end well. He knew it was never going to end well. But he’d allowed himself to think, when he was an impressionable, ignorant child, that this wild card of a boy could be a gateway to something _better_. Something different. Something that fixed this screwed-up orange fire of a planet.

And he’d been right, in a way. He just never expected for that blond, pretty, wild card solution to be _leave everything behind_.

_Be careful what you wish for._

_“Run away with me, Kos. Run away with me.”_

“It’s more complicated than that, Thete,” said Koschei aloud, to the stars that hid different planets and people and times. 

In a short while, Koschei would have the power to choose what he wanted, what life he wanted to take. How ironic that he would be bound by the very title of Time Lord, chained forever to a planet that was consuming itself. 

“This fucking planet,” he said, and the words were sad and bitter and longing. 

_This fucking planet._


End file.
